Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Amaryllis

The Amaryllis is a South American bloom with big, showy flowers, like a hooker on high heels during Carneval. So, of course, it has become associated in this country with Christmas. Flower companies attribute its popularity to the fact the bulb is easy to force, and if purchased around October, can bloom big and impressive by late December.

Here's what I think: before it blooms it looks like a penis. A big, long, engorged penis. I assume that is really what the South American grower first said: "Mio Dio, a penis -- the Godhead, the start! I'm thinking, Christmas, Diego." "Si, those dumb Yankees, we will kill their pointsettias!"

And so, they made headway (so to speak.) Except in my house. Oh, we've had the things from forever, but rarely manage to get them to bloom at Christmas. Usually, mid-January, early February, they come up.

But for the past few years, we have a Spring Fling Amaryllis. Two flowers we bought as kits years ago for our non-blooming Christmas pleasure. They didn't die, but they didn't bloom either. Until recently. In a few days, they grew 6 inches (no lie) and now they look like this:

Spring is here baby!


Archaeopteryx said...

I know this isn't the point, but--I like that room. Is it a kitchen? Dayroom? What?

rundeep said...

Yep, it's a kitchen.

Archaeopteryx said...

I really like the color scheme and the windows. Is it an old house? Did you decorate it yourself? Do you want to do a house in Arkansas?

rundeep said...

Hey arch. The house was built 60 years ago, but we did a major renovation 6 years ago, and 5 years before that we built the kitchen (as an addition). Yes, we designed and decorated it ourself. The colors have stood up really well over time, I must say. Thanks kindly, but I have a hard enough time with my own schemes to pick out someone else's (I'm getting ready for interior repainting right now).

LentenStuffe said...

I see great peace and tranquility reigning in your world: Candide would've been green with envy ... Flowers with penises reminds me of Monty, y'know, Monty, yea, that Monty:


Oh you little traitors. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is you'll agree a certain je ne ses quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot. Excuse me. Do help yourselves to another drink.

Hehe! The Carrot! Now there's a priapic plant for ya.