Monday, February 26, 2007

My Syntax

My syntax is
in disarray.
Verbs don't agree
and participles hang
dejected over lost

I lose meaning
by centimeters.
Rapid keystrokes
only hint at ideas now.

Am I confused or
just distracted?
Tired, frightened?
What's the excuse
for untethered

Evening falls and
so do my words.
Lost in a vacuum,
begging for one last

before darkness
falls and crushes them.
They can scream but
no one mourns mere
rearrangements of the


Keifus said...

I like it, you pulled in meaning from the scatter. Cute.

Last night (and the night before, even worse), I was begging the chatter in my head to SHUT UP, so I could finally go to sleep already.

K (and if I were able to remember any of it in the morning, now there would be some posting, I tell ya)

rundeep said...

Thanks K. I realized my last few posts on the Fray haven't exactly been models of fine English. They've struck me more as hints of ideas than well-expressed ones. That and I had major insomnia last night. We had a little health scare over the weekend with my daughter. Yesterday my husband was out of town and I was home with the worry about her and the noise of the snow warming and falling off the metal roof in sheets. I'm catatonic today.

Keifus said...

Hope she's OK.

rundeep said...

She's fine thanks. Woke up with an extremely painful lump on her foot Sunday AM. After some preliminary consult with our pedes, we were sent to the ER at the Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), which is a great place, but the place you get sent for serious stuff. Still something of a mystery, but they are treating her as if it's one of those really ugly "flesh-eating" bacterial infections. For various reasons, I didn't really find that out till our follow-up with our docs yesterday. Whatever it is, it's responding to the antibiotic. But nerves got to me, particularly since Iso's experience is the kind that makes you think about these things. Thanks for asking.

phlippin phrogs phor phun said...

hehe...this was a hoot. light and tasty of the tongue...i found my self grinning.


maximo said...

perhaps we should have a poetry duel.

twiffer said...

particularly enjoyed the first stanza. strong enough to stand on its own, actually. but i'm also a fan of the concise.